Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The mind is so powerful.

It's crazy how powerful your mind can be.  I've been living with lupus for a while now, at least a year, maybe closer to 5 years....but I just found out on Monday.  For the last 2 days, I feel different and I know it's all in my head.  I am trying desperately to get out of my own head and push myself through.   Most of the time during the day I do a pretty good job.  I will get some work done, and then go sit down to rest and it all floods into my brain...."what if this isn't just lupus and it's something even worse like leukemia or lymphoma, what if this progresses really quickly, what if this and what if that".  All of my what ifs don't make a ton of sense.  They are just there.  I think once I get more answers and a treatment plan I will feel better and be able to put it into a better place in my brain.  It's so tiring though, and I don't know if it's the actual lupus that makes me tired or if it's just tiring knowing that something is not correct with my body and it will be like this forever.  

Does anyone else with lupus or a long-term illness feel like this? what do you do to push the thoughts out of your head? 

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