Thursday, September 19, 2013


I love this quote.  I am very committed to my work.  I feel committed to keeping myself healthy, but sometimes I struggle with not eating an extra slice of pie or piece of cake.  I know it's not good for me, but I am human and I eat it anyway.  The problem is that one piece can turn into two or three.  And sometimes, missing one workout turns into missing a week of workouts.  

I know this is normal, but for my body it's important that I stay truly COMMITTED to being healthy.  If I don't, I can feel it and my body really feel "lupusy" (a made up word that really describes how it feels)!  I hate that feeling.  The achy joints, the headaches, upset stomach, all of the feelings that unless you have lupus you can't really understand it.  

For me (and probably for most people with lupus) my fitness goals are probably a lot lower than the average person.  I am not trying to run a marathon (even though it's on my bucket list of goals for someday.), or to do a triathlon (go Jackie!! I'll cheer you on instead), or to win any fitness competitions or anything like that.  I just want to feel healthy and in-shape and strong enough.  Strong enough that I feel healthy and good!

My doctor says I'm doing well, and that my organs are all healthy and unaffected and my body is strong.  I want my body to feel as strong as she says it is!  The problem with lupus is that you can't really see it (unless you have the skin rash, or other outward symptoms...which I don't).  A lot of people say "but you look so healthy!".  Or "you're probably just getting old" or "you're probably just tired".   It gets hard hearing that because lupus is painful and hard and something that is clear as day on the blood tests.  It's there.  It's something I have forever.  It's not an excuse though.  Just is what it is! I know that on a daily basis I need to motivate myself to push through the pain sometimes and just keep working out.  Yesterday I cut my run short because my knees were hurting.  I know I have to be more careful than the average person to balance pushing through the pain with not over-doing it so that I can actually walk the next day...but I want to challenge myself to push a little harder, and eat a few less cupcakes!
Have a great day!
xo Nikki

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